3 years ago • 29 notesI wrote this and put it in my wallet today.
I’m not gonna lie, you guys. I kinda feel like a loser and not to mention I’m behind on both my obligations and pet projects and that makes me feel like I’m totally freakin’ worthless. I honestly never thought that I’d be back to work like this. I really, really thought that I hauled enough ass at these kinda jobs for two years before I landed the job that I used to accumulate a small amount of street cred. I figured after I lost that job so some loft and Chelsea could have bigger flat screen TVs that I’d be OK with just The Molls Show and some freelance here and there and whatnot. But I’m not and I’m here. And I would feel like, really really badly about myself if I wasn’t raised to work hard and appreciate someone’s willingness to employ me, but fortunately I’m not that inflated. I still kinda feel like I’m a spangled thong in the 2 for 1 reject pile at Contempo Casuals though, so I guess this reminder is helpful.
I had really fantastic visions of what my life would be when i was in my 20’s. Not that i dont anymore, but my priorities have shifted. Luckily i was able to gain that perspective while i was employed at my “dream job” which ultimately wasn’t fulfilling me. i was able to make the choice to move on, and therefore have no regrets.
Its a tremendous cliche, and sometimes i think it goes without saying, but you should not define yourself by your place of employment, or any other material things. If you love doing something, you should do it, whether or not society deems it a success or not. You do it cause you have to. If you’re able to scrape by a living doing something you love, or fuck, get RICH, well that’s the cherry on top.
And the older you get, the more you realize you never “MAKE IT.” Life is a series of ups and downs (hello Rourke!). Nothing is a free ride. You’re going to continually have to prove yourself. One of my good friends was working in television for over 15 years, and now is starting over (and being a waitress in the meantime). It doesn’t make you a loser. What you do and where you work is a means to an end, a way to afford you to live your life. You are defined by the quality of the life you live and thats it.
